Wishland

Being exposed to the environment throughout my life means that my mind records my experiences. I record what my mind views as pleasurable as well as painful. But I focus on the positives, which means I focus on what is pleasurable. Meeting up with people and connecting with people means that I know that at some point, there will be a natural disconnect; a type of separation by default. This refers to the women out that I have had a bond with or some type of special friendship with, in which everything was lost simply because we moved on into different paths, whether it was a positive or negative route.

I was inspired by a certain female in which I had the nerve to introduce myself to, and I built a meetup process and an exchange of knowledge to one another to where I felt that the moments were as irresistible as eating Pizza Hut food. It was that irresistible. And for me to not have any contact with them for years and years just makes me want them more and more. We have all been there before. We have some sort of chemical reaction deep inside the reward system of the brain which stimulates a type of “This is the love of your life!!” feeling to where our circulatory systems are nearly at palpitation speed. We are just that head-over-heels for someone out there. For me to lose contact with them for so long means that it only stirs up more ambition and more temptation to want to see them again.

If only. If only it were possible. If only I could reunite with these throwback ladies that I met up with, but anything is possible in a small world. This also goes for those that I keep in contact with through the internet every now and then, that I wish I can see and make things happen. Even if they’re taken. I visualize them being single and seeing me as the love of their life. I like to vision them seeing me and wanting me nonstop 24/7 which would give off a “happily ever after” vibe that I can only dream of. I miss these cats out there. It’s not to say that I am a thirsty man. This is an impulsive response by nature where I have an internal wish of wanting fantasy to evolve into reality, although I did have an actual reality by seeing them and falling in love with them in person before. That’s just who I was. The type of dude that looked at a particular pretty person and visualized that vixen as a permanent chick for me. To a lot of people, this is simply a vision that is “unrealistic”, but again, anything is possible if elements were to fall into place in this case. That is something I wish for. Seeing someone who I like, getting to know or already knowing the lady from before, and just making miraculous moves that feel magical to where the belief of fantasy evolving into reality is officially believable. It’s always possible to make that happen. It mainly comes down to the effort and energy used in the process for both parties.

Like for the most part, during the high school era, the development of the dopamine system was evolving  more and more. My passions came into fruition when I seen them. My deep dark desires intensified throughout those years. I could subconsciously feel the upgrade taking place. During the 90’s, there was no knowledge of it for me until a decade later. Once the mid 2000’s came along, the urge was there. At the same time, I knew I wanted to do it, but it was hard to actually take that step forward. Maybe because my mindset had a slow growing and slow learning process up until the 2010’s. I didn’t know a possible outcome, but I assumed that the outcome wouldn’t go in my favor. I crave a positive outcome, but at least I can still take a shot during this “numbers game” that I am playing until the day I’m laying in the casket. If I miss 100% of the shots that I don’t take, then that was the reality I had to face. Of course I scored, but I know that I cannot withdraw all the time if I want to spark an origin of something that I want from women. My passion for them will never stop, including the ones I kept my eyes on during those timeframes that I had witnessed them in person. They sparked my mind. They had me follow them and get to know them all over the place. Those vibes continue to this day, although those vibes are managed and structured much more properly and more maturely than the previous years. This wishing idea that I have can only be brought to life by certain moves made as life goes forward with me. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then I pursue it from several different angles and areas.