The changing of the minds is what we have arrived for. Our main focus, even since we have showed up, is to change for the better. We all change, alter and tweak our lifestyles and characters at some point. There came a time when my perception took a switch in my lifetime, such as right after the senior year and even after the college eras. From the outside looking in, I had to acknowledge who I was and for the better. A lot of systems had to be slowly thrown away within me. Sometimes there are systems that are thrown out overnight, but other more bigger systems take more time to barely give up, and even officially give up for good. Overtime I notice myself. I see what I had learned. I see what I gunned for. I see what drove me in. Yes I still view them, but some had to go. The repetition took a toll on me. Had to grow both negatively and positively. I don’t focus too much on an era like close bondage. Numerous experiences taught me to be cautious, like playing it serious no matter the circumstance. It’s pretty hard when tryna fall back, just to be sure if what you’re doing is the right thing. You don’t really put much situations into question. Maybe until it hits you at some point. I see a pattern for the worst, forcing me to re-adapt and re-think my strategy.
Now I need a new plan. Quick pace or time consuming. A type of system to survive through. I gets thrown with multiple moments daily, to where an evaluation technique should be required. Like when a chemistry goes sour to the point of no comeback after so many failed experiments to get it right, using anti-foe chemicals. The shit fell apart with explosion residue because two separate products within the science project just could not mix together successfully. The failure kept coming, sending a message and signal like, “Hey, that’s how certain molecules react that don’t attract good results”. Throw out the project, now it’s a lesson to see how any individual is capable of pulling off a stunt like a devil completely devoid of any decent demeanors. The demon stay screamin’. Meanwhile I be chillin’, looking for a fresh start but the reminder kicks in. In essence, the warning of life knocks on me like “Watch out for any potential sign of cruelty”. Cause it’s the slightest clue that can easily define the whole entire circumstance. No longer blinded. Now I see it. I unmask regardless of the length of time it takes me. I unlock with intelligence due to stress attached and a detection that indicates a form of double-crossing. The wake-up call hits you and everyone else, when you hit stage after next stage after next stage.
Talk about life being tough. I done been through the hassle that carried me in so many dimensions. Even a kickback flow, a little hard to crack like a motivation adjustment movement. It leads me to brainstorming times, perhaps a little too overboard, and even I reflect on my own behaviors like I’m messed up in the head, I need some switches. This shit can be crazy as hell. I’m over here in a state of this so-called withdrawal, not figuring out the pieces, yet I must solve this puzzle. It’s hard to change, when tryna break through doors going into new realms. It’s hard to become accustomed to a system which seems and appears fantasy-like, and out of reach. It’s to where these self-doubts have to motivate me, like they do everyone else. The urge to have an impact. The urge to break barriers. The urge to get known more. The urge to sacrifice. The urge to change behaviors, and even the urge to get out of character, only to match the environment with professional perspectives. So I would fake the character until I make it. This be an acting job to an extent, or just activating maturity like never before. Discipline out of this Earth. Oh I better cough up leisure after leisure. My mind is scrambling, trying to crack the codes within these various paths. So many steps to do the math to where I have to play back and see myself like mirror shit.
This can seem like some weird shit, as so it seems and appears. But again, I have to crack a code here. No more slacking off. I need to focus and match the society games, seek connections and assistance along the way, and even try to build up this so-called “faith” thing that they say, but man it can be a spine-shattering challenge. I have to sleep early. No more nocturnal mentalities cause it alters my mood, and leads me into this lazy leisure trip. I have to eat healthy only. Fruits and veggies to strengthen the mind as one of many ways to boost my motivation. I have to work out and exercise in an effort to get the life liquids in my brain flowing to where, it re-structures my perspective towards the planet. You see how I feel when I be on my own? I have to use internet at least for more beneficial purposes, other than posting shit to boost followers. I have to have a purpose and goal in mind in addition to a re-wired mind to further me forward. An everyday cycle to complete. It’s how these bumps on the road be operating. This shit is a mind-blown marathon, an everyday run-around lap to where the hopelessness, pessimistic perspectives, and mental struggles all kick in. Yet an internal drive must defeat these thoughts overtime. I am in a battle with myself to win over me.
If only it were easy. I’m reaching out, saying that even I got some shit that seems impossible to crack open. I need a key to insert, to burst out the ambition areas in the skull. An additional type to gain ground on the passions. So much to enter. Why does it feel locked away? Damn I need a phone call or 2, or 10 or 50 or 1,000 just to get a guaranteed handful. These buildings and locations look like threats to me. Like if I tried they’ll kick me out. I swear my perception of reality is off. Sometimes I don’t know how to solve it, how to turn it off, or how to think, otherwise it feels trapped forever. Now I have to believe and just do it like Nike shit, take the plunges yet expect the worst, while hoping for best simultaneously. So I have to explode my inner self. Damn I got to figure out the sense of dissatisfaction. The sense of not trying. The sense of knowing that I’ll fail regardless. The sense of constantly dealing with the hard knock life. I feel as if I have this already-established telepathy judgment towards numerous environments and elements. I have to load up my talents daily. I have to unleash each skill to impress as much as possible. I have to increase guarantees beyond a reasonable doubt. I have to gain a financial ground as well. Those are one of countless routes in an effort to reach a sense of completeness. Adapting to culture. Succumbing to tradition on an elevated level. Presenting myself at the ultimate highest with the best way to beat it and defeat it. Simply out, the grind don’t stop, even when you hit the ancient ages. The ongoing time into the elevation era mean that I have to spill out the effort with a sense of untouchable feeling when grinding to rearrange my own self for my own good. A powerful, more reality-check way to evolve, as opposed to the simple natural evolving which is common for every breathing animal within the simulation cycle we breathin’ in.
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